The Rambling Begins

I have been wanting to start blogging for a while now but decided today was the day. I doubt anyone will read this but maybe it's not really for other people and more for me.

I tried to think of a catchy title for my blog and soon remembered how not creative I truly am. So I landed on "Ramblings of a Wanderer" because a wanderer is truly what I feel like and, yes, my thoughts are truly ramblings.

I feel like a wanderer not because I am lost (remember, not all who wander are lost) but because I have roots in many different places. When someone asks "where are you from" it always becomes at least a ten minute conversation that involves three states and one life-changing commercial. So there is no short and sweet answer to that question. However, I have wandered to some awesome places and met some amazing people along the way!

Currently my wanderings have lead me back to Jackson, Mississippi....the place of my birth and, more importantly, the place of my family. I have been back here for about two and a half months and have learned a lot in that time but also realize there is a lot more God wants to teach me. (I can be a little bit of a slow learner sometimes)

Lesson #1: You don't realize what you have until it's gone (or about to be gone). There was an awesome outpouring of love in my final months in Asheville. I had going away meals and sweet cards and awesome words said about me in that time. I got to spend some very sweet time with some very sweet people. Those people sure to know how to make a person feel special. Now, I sit in Jackson, Mississippi wishing I could have just one more dinner at Moe's with some awesome coworkers or one more sleepover at my house with my girls there. You really don't realize what you have until it's gone. Don't worry....there will be more Moe's and there will be more sleepovers....Christmas vacation is one of the beauties of being a teacher!

Lesson #2: You learn a lot about your relationships when you move. I have been surprised by the people that have wanted to keep in touch with me and I have been surprised by those who haven't. I have to say I am very guilty in this area. It has been a crazy couple of months filled with intense emotions and many 12, 13, 14 hour days of work so I have not been very good about keeping in touch with people or pouring into relationships. I have struggled with feelings of being forgotten by the place I came from and being unknown in the place I am. I have had to let go of some people and be thankful for the time that God gave me with them. I am thankful for the few friendships I have that I know distance could never change!

Lesson #3: Teaching is what I love. I don't love grading papers, doing lesson plans, or attending trainings that often seem pointless. I don't love dealing with standardized testing and all the other "junk" that comes with teaching. I just love teaching. In the last two and a half months I have felt like every familiar and comfortable thing has been taken from me. But for six and a half hours a day, I get to do what I love. I get to teach. I get to be in m comfort zone. You see, kids are kids whether you are in Brandon, MS or Asheville, NC or Guatemala City, Guatemala. Kids are something I know, something I am good at. Teaching, whether is be to a group of 5th graders in a school or a group high schools sitting around the floor of my house, is what I love.

Lesson #4: Satan can really get to me. Now, I don't want to give him too much credit. I know that God is trying to teach me some things and I am (like I said earlier) a slow learner. But satan has a way of messing with my head and in this latest wandering of mine, he has truly done that. It has cost me some things but I am learning to battle him! For our battle is not against flesh and blood....

Lesson #5: I just want to make a difference. I don't know if I will teach for the rest of my life. I don't know if I will be called to the mission field at some point. There is so much I don't know. But all I do know is that I want to make a difference in people's lives, not pointing back to me or for my glory but pointing to Jesus. I want to make a difference in people's lives that is eternal....not just here and now. I don't think I am doing a very good job with this one right now but I know it's at the root of every desire I have for my life.

There are certainly other lessons I have learned in the last two and a half months but I think God is still trying to solidify them in my mind and heart, so until He does, those lessons will remain between He and I.

My first ramblings certainly do live up to the name so I will end them here for now. I know there will be more to come as my mind is always filled with ramblings!