Monday, February 6, 2012

What a Difference a Year Makes...

About a year ago, I started going to a new church and I knew God was calling me to this church. On one of my very first Sundays at the church their student ministry was doing Disciple Now. As I sat in "big church" I saw all the students in their cute little matching t-shirt, worshiping the Jesus they had encountered and it hit me: this was my first year in a long time that I wasn't helping out with DNow. It reminded me so much of the time spent teaching, worshiping, and loving on "my girls." And I cried all through that service! (Lame, I know)

Fast forward a year: This past Sunday I sat in "big church" surrounded by students in cute matching t-shirts, worshiping the Jesus WE encountered! Then it hit me, that is sweet victory in my life! I spent the weekend loving on a group of 9th grade girls and it was somewhat bittersweet. Bitter in that it reminded me of my time with "my girls" through out the years (I miss them) and oh so sweet in that I have the opportunity to pour into another group of girls!

God has been teaching me a lot as I read through the life of Joseph. The timing is just so God! I have read and learned about Joseph many times before! But now it's different. Now it's personal. Now I can see myself in his story.

As you know, Joseph's life was full of opposition and waiting. However, at every stage in his life he trusted and honored God in everything. He often found himself imprisoned (both figuratively and literally). No matter what he waited and trusted the Lord. Time after time, he found favor with those others. Ultimately, he becomes the second highest in all of Egypt, he is reunited and reconciled with his family, and his faithfulness blesses his family for generations.

Let it be known, I am in no way saying that I am as faithful as Joseph. Quite the opposite actually. Over the last year and half I have walked through a lot of transition and "imprisonment" (figuratively of course). As I read the story of Joseph, I saw ways I fell short in those times. Mainly, I questioned everything. I was not faithful in my walk with Christ.

Four lessons I have learned from this mighty man of God: (I am sure God is still giong to show me more!)
1. Joseph didn't choose his circumstances but he chose to honor God through them.
2. He had several years of waiting. Waiting is not passive! He continued to seek God in that time and he still had a deep connection with God in that time. (the evidence of that is that he was still able to interpret dreams)
3. He couldn't live in his past victories. When he was sold into slavery, he couldn't live in the favor he had with his father. When he was thrown into prison by Potiphar, he couldn't live in the favor he once had with Potiphar. When he was waiting in prison in hopes of someone keeping their promise, he couldn't live in the favor he had with the prison guards. He never settled for past victories but was always striving to honor God! And at every stage God blessed him for his faithfulness.
4. His faithfulness ALWAYS blessed others.

I could spend a long time talking about how I have not followed Joseph's example. But I am learning. This weekend just solidified these lessons in so many ways. There are BIG victories I am claiming! I know God has a plan and a desire to use my life to make a difference. My job is just to remain faithful with each step of the journey!

First DNow with "my girls". Man they have grown up!





And "my girls" from this weekend! Exciting times ahead!

Friday, November 18, 2011

Taming the Tongue and the Mind

Once again, it has been a long time since I have blogged. It has been a very busy fall! It usually takes at least the first nine weeks of school for it to settle down and this year has been no different.

The school year has started off well. I am teaching math and science (and social studies sometimes). I have two great classes and enjoy my time with them! They are sweet, most of the time. I love team teaching and over the last few weeks I have seen the benefits in the amount of time it saves to just plan these subjects.

God has been doing a tremendous work in me over the last few months. He has truly blessed me! I have been blessed with some new friendships and new ministry areas. I have jumped back in to student ministry after a year off and I am loving my group of 9th grade girls. I look forward to what God has in store for us as we do life together.

God has been driving a few key things home with me lately and giving me a lot of practical application. The biggest thing He has been showing me is that I am very susceptible to believing the lies of the enemy. This is almost a minute by minute struggle for me. I guess it always has been; God is just showing me specific moments when it happens. These lies have proven to be crippling at times. They revolve around friendships, family, self-worth, loneliness and other things. There are so many ways satan attacks.

I have certainly not perfected the art of fighting these lies! However, God has really shown me that it is about knowing the truth to fight off the lies. If I know the truth, then I can tell the difference between the two and I can speak truth into the situation. Also, He is really teaching me to take my thoughts captive. That is such a deliberate step in the process and so very important.

So as I hear these lies, I have a choice. I can dwell on them and make them my own, which leads to destruction in one way or another. Or I can speak the name of Jesus, speak the Truth, take my thoughts captive. It is a constant struggle but God is teaching me so much about recognizing and fighting off the lies!

God has also been showing me how much my speech affects my witness. Anyone who knows me knows I am sarcastic to the max. That has gotten me in trouble for years! My filtration system has improved a lot over the years but still fails some times. However, what God has been showing me is that it has less to do with what I say and more to do with how I say it. God wants my gentleness to be evident to all. He is showing me that how I speak to people can either open or close the door of opportunity to witness or minister in their lives.

The verse He has really been driving home for me is Colossians 4:5-6 "Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." Am I making the most of every opportunity? Is my conversation always full of grace? My life must constantly be about pointing people to Christ. I fall so short in that area but it is the desire of my heart! No matter how stressed or busy I am, I want to make the most of every opportunity. Man that is tough but I am a work in progress and God is so faithful!

So my ramblings are, once again, just that. I am excited about where God is leading me and the plan He has for me, even when I am unsure of what it looks like!

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Seasons

I love Summer! It is very true! Of course, why wouldn't I love summer? I have been getting at least two months off for summer since I was five! However, the actual season of summer (not just my time off) is beginning to get a little long here in the slightly warm state of Mississippi. So I have had my fill. I am ready to move on to a new season. I am ready to not sweat immediately when I walk outside. I am ready for fall!

God recently brought me out of one of the most challenging seasons of my life. It was like this summer, it seemed to drag on and on. I am so thankful to be out of that season. But I am also thankful for the Fruit God brought about in my life during that season! I am thankful for what God taught me in that season as well.

So now I am sensing God move me into a new season. I don't know yet how to put it into words but God is definitely working on me. He is molding and shaping me. He is breaking chains that are binding me. He is doing something. It feels good to be in a season when I feel like God is moving in my life. I have to admit, during the long, dry summer season He just brought me through it was so hard for me to sense God's voice. But now, I have entered a season where He is just showering my life!

Now I have the task of sorting some things out. I know He has placed a high calling on my life and I am so ready for the challenge but I am struggling to find balance. I want to make a difference for His name and for His glory. I have the tendency to spin my wheels in an effort to do exactly what I am supposed to do, exactly how I am supposed to do it. Sometimes (more often than I would like to admit), God places a calling on my life and I do all I can do. Because I recognize these tendencies in my life, I have life verse!
2 Corinthians 12:9, But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me.
I constantly have to remind myself that there is absolutely NOTHING I can do on my own. My strength is useless and my efforts to control situations are completely futile!

So for now I am trying (and not succeeding as much as I would like) to be weak and let the God of the Universe handle it. But I know He is getting ready to move in a big way as He teaches me new truths about Himself and me. It isn't always a pain free process but it is always worth it.

For this season I have been really focusing on a couple of verses and they seem to really put things into perspective for me.

"Sow righteousness for yourselves, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the LORD, until he comes and showers his righteousness on you."
Hosea 10:12

"LORD, I have heard of your fame; I stand in awe of your deeds, LORD. Repeat them in our day, in our time make them known; in wrath remember mercy." Habakkuk 3:2

I am excited to see what God has in store for this season. I am just going to try to stay out of the way!

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Oh What a Year!

It is hard to believe that I have been in Mississippi for a year. And what a year it has been. It has been filled with just about every emotion I can imagine! How about a little recap...

I left Asheville on July 27, 2010, after a crazy busy summer! Just three days later, I had to report to "new teacher" orientation. Thus beginning the hardest year of teaching I have ever had! I know that most of it probably had to do with all the emotions that come with moving but there were also some other factors.

I continued my year waiting for my house to sell and living with my mom until it did. If you had told me I would be living with my mom for 10 months I probably wouldn't have moved...just being honest. However, it went way better than I would have ever expected it to. And with the rough school year, it was nice for her to spoil me some :).

All the while, I was definitely struggling with God's call on my life to move to Mississippi. I questioned that whether or not I did the right thing but I always came back to LOVING being close to my family! However, I at times was quite frustrated with God and His timing. This sent me into a bit of a spiritual valley that I stayed in the majority of the year. I think I am on my way out of that funk but it has been a struggle.

I eventually found a group of friends and after some time found the church that I knew God was calling me to. My house finally sold and I bought a new one that I LOVE so much. I made it through a hard year in teaching and I am getting ready to start another....hopefully easier!

I am definitely glad this year of my life is behind me! It will go down as one of the hardest so far. I am very excited about what God has in store for me now that I am settled in my life here. God continues to teach me that the gifts I bring to Him are going to cost me something, that is why they are a sacrifice, but He always brings back that it is so very worth it.

I still miss my life in Asheville. My time there was very special and God blessed my abundantly. The same God that called me to Asheville also called me to Mississippi and I am trusting that this season of my life will be equally blessed. I am thankful for the time I have had here so far and the people that God has placed in my life. Now I just continue to hold on and enjoy the ride!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

All Moved In!

I am officially a Mississippian once again! Yes, I have been living here for about 10 months but I no longer have a house in NC! On May 27th, I closed on my house in Asheville after a year being on the market. Also on May 27th, I closed on my house in Brandon.

It has been a crazy few weeks but I made it even though at times I wasn't sure I would. Ending a school year, selling a house, buying a house and moving made life a little hectic.

I truthfully wasn't sure the sell of my NC house would happen...I guess I didn't have much faith but I was very nervous to get my hopes up. A year in this housing market will do that to you! I didn't want to get my hopes up but I wanted to have a house in MS when the time came. So I finally got to go house hunting. It was very anti-climactic! I looked at four houses and put an offer in on the first house I looked at. I just knew....it was the right size, the right area, and, most importantly, the right price. God definitely provided. Everyone who has seen the house says it's very "Millie." (Whatever that means??? But I agree.)

So I ended my first year teaching in MS and I can't say I am sad about that. It has been a very hard year. I am looking forward to next year being more settled and hopefully easier! The day after the last school day my mom and I headed up to NC to pack and load all my stuff. I was able to go back to Glen Arden and see lots of people....It is still like home. It doesn't feel any different, besides I was out of school and they still had a couple weeks left. Not complaining about that! Then it was some focused packing! My mom did most of it because she is awesome and her A.D.D isn't quite as bad as mine :). It was very hard to leave my house. So many memories there! I was dreading the finality of it all. Making the move official was like leaving all over again. That morning I prayed that God would give me a peace and I just thanked Him for the blessing that house had been to me and (I hope) to many others! I also prayed that the house I was buying would be an equal blessing to me and others. I also prayed that it would be a place that was God-honoring. That continues to be my prayer! Less than 48 hours after we arrived in Asheville, we loaded up a 26 foot U-Haul and I drove that thing 10 and a half hours!

After my closing in NC getting pushed back and some fears that we might not be able to close on my house in Brandon, we made it official...I signed a lot of papers and got a key! I now have a garage and Lola has her a Lola-sized back yard that she loves.

So in my first week of summer, I drove 500 miles, packed a house, ate Moe's, drove 500 miles (in a big fat U-Haul), sold a house, bought a house, unpacked a house, painted three rooms, and hung two light fixtures. Pheeewwwww, I am worn out just thinking about it. I hope the rest of my summer isn't as busy as the first week!!!

Well, that is an update on my life. I am excited to see what God has planned for me now that I am officially here. If my time in Mississippi is anything like my time in Asheville, I know He has big plans and big blessings in store!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Not Mine Anyway

Wow it has been over two months since I last blogged...that's a long time! It has been a busy few months! School, of course, is always busy so that has been normal. I started going to a new church and not long after that decided to join Crossgates Baptist in Brandon. I have really enjoyed getting to know people there and getting involved. I get confirmation after confirmation that Crossgates is where I am supposed to be. Spring Break consisted of making a lot of stuff so that was quite nice and therapeutic! :)

The biggest news lately is that my house in NC is under contract....hallelujah! After 11 months of being on the market!! I have also found a house in Brandon that is now under contract! My prayer is now that God would allow everything to go smoothly with the closing in NC and here! I am ready to have that off my back and really feel like I am a part of the community here.

God has been teaching me a lot lately. The two big things He has been showing me are that He is more than enough and all that I have is His. First, He is more than enough....in some bouts with loneliness and struggling to understand the road He has taken me down, He consistently reminds me that He is my sustainer and my redeemer. He is all I need. If everything in my life was stripped away, He is more than enough.

Secondly, all that I have is His. There is nothing that I have that is mine anyway. My money, my house, my family, my friends....none of it is mine. It all belongs to God and He has allowed me to experience it. I know some of you know this and practice this so easily but not me. I hold things tightly...especially people. But it's not mine anyway. This realization has allowed me to be a more giving person that doesn't worry as much. (At least I am trying!) My money is not my own so I need to be giving to those in need. My time is not mine anyway so I need to be giving it away. The people in my life are not mine anyway so I need not worry about them. God holds His children in His righteous right hand and I certainly can't do better than Him.

They have been some good lessons that relieve a lot of my stress. Yeah, I am still going to worry about the people that I love. Yeah, money issues are still going to stress me out. It's a process but it is a journey that I am excited to be on! I will keep you posted!

So my life doesn't offer much excitement but it is the life God has blessed me with. I am enjoying myself and feel blessed with the people and things God has put in my life and I just hope I can be a good steward of it!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Perspective

I have a tendency to get a little "woe is me" attitude. I don't always share those thoughts with others but I often think about ways that I need God to move. I want my house to sell. I want my stress level at work to decrease. I want to find a place to get involved in ministry. I want to buy a house. I want. I want. I want. I specifically prayed this morning that I wanted to see God move today. And there is nothing wrong with that. I believe God delights in my prayers.

Over the last few days God has really put some things into perspective for me. I know of several people and families really going through some serious trials. A family whose house burned down. Two families whose young children are having surgery. A couple who is saying goodbye to their daughter. God is using these things to bring me to a place of humility and thanksgiving for the blessings that I have.

I am blessed beyond measure. Wow, I am blessed beyond measure. May I always remember His blessings and His hand on my life. May I always have this perspective to get me through the small stuff of my days. May I always lean into Christ when trials come my way. No matter, big or small, may I live my life for His name and His glory!