Oh What a Year!

It is hard to believe that I have been in Mississippi for a year. And what a year it has been. It has been filled with just about every emotion I can imagine! How about a little recap...

I left Asheville on July 27, 2010, after a crazy busy summer! Just three days later, I had to report to "new teacher" orientation. Thus beginning the hardest year of teaching I have ever had! I know that most of it probably had to do with all the emotions that come with moving but there were also some other factors.

I continued my year waiting for my house to sell and living with my mom until it did. If you had told me I would be living with my mom for 10 months I probably wouldn't have moved...just being honest. However, it went way better than I would have ever expected it to. And with the rough school year, it was nice for her to spoil me some :).

All the while, I was definitely struggling with God's call on my life to move to Mississippi. I questioned that whether or not I did the right thing but I always came back to LOVING being close to my family! However, I at times was quite frustrated with God and His timing. This sent me into a bit of a spiritual valley that I stayed in the majority of the year. I think I am on my way out of that funk but it has been a struggle.

I eventually found a group of friends and after some time found the church that I knew God was calling me to. My house finally sold and I bought a new one that I LOVE so much. I made it through a hard year in teaching and I am getting ready to start another....hopefully easier!

I am definitely glad this year of my life is behind me! It will go down as one of the hardest so far. I am very excited about what God has in store for me now that I am settled in my life here. God continues to teach me that the gifts I bring to Him are going to cost me something, that is why they are a sacrifice, but He always brings back that it is so very worth it.

I still miss my life in Asheville. My time there was very special and God blessed my abundantly. The same God that called me to Asheville also called me to Mississippi and I am trusting that this season of my life will be equally blessed. I am thankful for the time I have had here so far and the people that God has placed in my life. Now I just continue to hold on and enjoy the ride!

All Moved In!

I am officially a Mississippian once again! Yes, I have been living here for about 10 months but I no longer have a house in NC! On May 27th, I closed on my house in Asheville after a year being on the market. Also on May 27th, I closed on my house in Brandon.

It has been a crazy few weeks but I made it even though at times I wasn't sure I would. Ending a school year, selling a house, buying a house and moving made life a little hectic.

I truthfully wasn't sure the sell of my NC house would happen...I guess I didn't have much faith but I was very nervous to get my hopes up. A year in this housing market will do that to you! I didn't want to get my hopes up but I wanted to have a house in MS when the time came. So I finally got to go house hunting. It was very anti-climactic! I looked at four houses and put an offer in on the first house I looked at. I just knew....it was the right size, the right area, and, most importantly, the right price. God definitely provided. Everyone who has seen the house says it's very "Millie." (Whatever that means??? But I agree.)

So I ended my first year teaching in MS and I can't say I am sad about that. It has been a very hard year. I am looking forward to next year being more settled and hopefully easier! The day after the last school day my mom and I headed up to NC to pack and load all my stuff. I was able to go back to Glen Arden and see lots of people....It is still like home. It doesn't feel any different, besides I was out of school and they still had a couple weeks left. Not complaining about that! Then it was some focused packing! My mom did most of it because she is awesome and her A.D.D isn't quite as bad as mine :). It was very hard to leave my house. So many memories there! I was dreading the finality of it all. Making the move official was like leaving all over again. That morning I prayed that God would give me a peace and I just thanked Him for the blessing that house had been to me and (I hope) to many others! I also prayed that the house I was buying would be an equal blessing to me and others. I also prayed that it would be a place that was God-honoring. That continues to be my prayer! Less than 48 hours after we arrived in Asheville, we loaded up a 26 foot U-Haul and I drove that thing 10 and a half hours!

After my closing in NC getting pushed back and some fears that we might not be able to close on my house in Brandon, we made it official...I signed a lot of papers and got a key! I now have a garage and Lola has her a Lola-sized back yard that she loves.

So in my first week of summer, I drove 500 miles, packed a house, ate Moe's, drove 500 miles (in a big fat U-Haul), sold a house, bought a house, unpacked a house, painted three rooms, and hung two light fixtures. Pheeewwwww, I am worn out just thinking about it. I hope the rest of my summer isn't as busy as the first week!!!

Well, that is an update on my life. I am excited to see what God has planned for me now that I am officially here. If my time in Mississippi is anything like my time in Asheville, I know He has big plans and big blessings in store!

Not Mine Anyway

Wow it has been over two months since I last blogged...that's a long time! It has been a busy few months! School, of course, is always busy so that has been normal. I started going to a new church and not long after that decided to join Crossgates Baptist in Brandon. I have really enjoyed getting to know people there and getting involved. I get confirmation after confirmation that Crossgates is where I am supposed to be. Spring Break consisted of making a lot of stuff so that was quite nice and therapeutic! :)

The biggest news lately is that my house in NC is under contract....hallelujah! After 11 months of being on the market!! I have also found a house in Brandon that is now under contract! My prayer is now that God would allow everything to go smoothly with the closing in NC and here! I am ready to have that off my back and really feel like I am a part of the community here.

God has been teaching me a lot lately. The two big things He has been showing me are that He is more than enough and all that I have is His. First, He is more than enough....in some bouts with loneliness and struggling to understand the road He has taken me down, He consistently reminds me that He is my sustainer and my redeemer. He is all I need. If everything in my life was stripped away, He is more than enough.

Secondly, all that I have is His. There is nothing that I have that is mine anyway. My money, my house, my family, my friends....none of it is mine. It all belongs to God and He has allowed me to experience it. I know some of you know this and practice this so easily but not me. I hold things tightly...especially people. But it's not mine anyway. This realization has allowed me to be a more giving person that doesn't worry as much. (At least I am trying!) My money is not my own so I need to be giving to those in need. My time is not mine anyway so I need to be giving it away. The people in my life are not mine anyway so I need not worry about them. God holds His children in His righteous right hand and I certainly can't do better than Him.

They have been some good lessons that relieve a lot of my stress. Yeah, I am still going to worry about the people that I love. Yeah, money issues are still going to stress me out. It's a process but it is a journey that I am excited to be on! I will keep you posted!

So my life doesn't offer much excitement but it is the life God has blessed me with. I am enjoying myself and feel blessed with the people and things God has put in my life and I just hope I can be a good steward of it!

Perspective

I have a tendency to get a little "woe is me" attitude. I don't always share those thoughts with others but I often think about ways that I need God to move. I want my house to sell. I want my stress level at work to decrease. I want to find a place to get involved in ministry. I want to buy a house. I want. I want. I want. I specifically prayed this morning that I wanted to see God move today. And there is nothing wrong with that. I believe God delights in my prayers.

Over the last few days God has really put some things into perspective for me. I know of several people and families really going through some serious trials. A family whose house burned down. Two families whose young children are having surgery. A couple who is saying goodbye to their daughter. God is using these things to bring me to a place of humility and thanksgiving for the blessings that I have.

I am blessed beyond measure. Wow, I am blessed beyond measure. May I always remember His blessings and His hand on my life. May I always have this perspective to get me through the small stuff of my days. May I always lean into Christ when trials come my way. No matter, big or small, may I live my life for His name and His glory!

Time

I have not blogged in a while. I guess I have been pretty busy or maybe just not inspired to write my thoughts. Either way, I am back with a few things to say for anyone who wants to read them!

So this week is full of important dates. Important to me anyway....

Today, my house has been on the market for 8 months. I never thought it would take this long to sell! However, it has worked out pretty well living with my mom. She likes to cook for me and take me out to dinner so I would say it's a pretty sweet deal. I also feel like I am reconnecting with her. We have always been close but now we are getting really good at being friends and I like that.

On Thursday the 27th I will have been in Mississippi for six months. It is hard to believe it has been half of a year. In so many ways it seems like just yesterday that I was in Asheville packing my car. And then in so many ways it seems like a lifetime ago. I am so blessed that I got to visit over Christmas break. It was so much fum and so nice to be there with people I am familiar with. Honestly, if home is where the heart is, mine beats in two places! I am blessed.

I am still trying to find my place here but I know it is happening and will continue to happen the longer I am here. I was reading Mark 2 today. It is a really good chapter that teaches a lot about the heart of Jesus. One is the story of the four friends bringing the paralytic to Jesus. I love that story and was reminded, this morning, that I want those kinds of friends and I want to be that kind of friend. I think it is rare but I know that it can happen and that is my prayer.

And lastly, this week seven years ago was the last time I talked to my dad. When I hung up the phone with him that last time he said he would call me soon. Seven years later I don't know where he is or what he is doing. I don't know if I will ever see him again. I know that he has missed seven years of my life (and then some). I would like to just be able to say "his loss" but it's mine too. Every girl wants their daddy. I am no different even after seven years without him in my life.

So this week holds a lot of emotions for me. I am still in a waiting stage in my life. Through all of this God has really shown me how blessed I am. God has shown me how He has held my hand every step of the way in every situation. He has truly blessed my life and I know that He will continue to walk with me through these things too!

Abundant Life!

Thanksgiving is once again upon us. It really doesn't feel Thanksgivingish! There may be a couple reasons for this. First, it was about 80 degrees outside today. I wore flip flops. Not that I am complaining...I love it!!! Another reason might be that I am not making the nine hour drive from Asheville to Mississippi this year. Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like sitting in Knoxville traffic the day before Thanksgiving. Again, I am not complaining. I won't be missing that drive this year!

So, in honor of Thanksgiving, I thought I should give you a list of things I am thankful for. Not that anyone really cares but it's always fun to remind yourself of all the blessings that God has poured on you! Here is my thankful Thanksgiving list:

1. Salvation. I am thankful that Jesus rescued me from myself and my from my sin some fifteen years ago. I honestly wouldn't be here without His love and that loving rescue.

2. My family. It's cliche, I know, but I am so thankful for the people that have helped shape me and loved me and supported me. I am excited to spend the next few days with most of them. I will be missing my sister and her family! I like to say that my family puts the fun in dysfunctional and in a lot of ways it is true but I love them so very much!

3. My friends. New and old. I am thankful that God has blessed me with many meaningful friendships in the past and I can see that He is deepening many for the future. I am even thankful for the friendships lost over the years because I know God has used them in my life to teach me many things!

4. My job. Yep, for as much as I complain about it at times, I am thankful to have a job that I enjoy (most days) and one that pays the bills. I pray that God would use me to make an eternal impact on the students I get to work with.

5. Comforts. I am thankful for the comforts of a home (of which I sorta have two...anyone want to buy a condo?), a bed, food on the table (most of which my mom is cooking for me...again not complaining), nice clothes, a car....the list goes on and on but I am thankful for the material things God has blessed me with. I hope I can be a good steward of them.

6. My girls. Yep, they are all in college now and I live too many hours away from them now but I am still so thankful for them. I am thankful that I got to be a part of their lives. I am thankful for the growth that I have gotten to witness in them. I am thankful that I still get phone calls or texts or skype dates asking for guidance and celebrating victories. I am thankful that I have gotten to walk with some through intense trials and walk with others to a moment of salvation.

7. Lola. It may sound crazy but I am so very thankful for my dog. She is my baby. She is precious. She is spoiled rotten and I love her so much!

I am sure there is so much more I have to be thankful for and I am. These are the highlights. I have, without a doubt, been blessed beyond measure and have been given the abundant life God promises!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Reasons....

I have been thinking over the last few weeks that I am starting to understand, partially at least, why God brought me to Mississippi. I guess it become clearer with every day. The more I understand, the easier this transition becomes.

I always knew family was the main reason I moved here but I am beginning to see that play out. It's funny. I moved here thinking things like, "I can be there for my mom." "My mom needs to have someone around." "I can help my grandparents as they are getting older." But the truth is, I need my family.

Because of this move, I get to be a part of my grandpa's last memories. See, Tepaw (that's my grandpa) isn't doing so well. Every time I see him he is a little worse (or a lot). I can't imagine being in Asheville worrying that my next visit at Christmas or Spring break would be too late and he would no longer remember me. So now I get to see him and he still remembers me. He may not remember that I am not in college anymore and he may not remember that I have moved back to Mississippi but he knows me. He even knows when I am upset and it still upsets him to see his baby granddaughter upset. That means something.

Because of this move, my mom gets to come to my classroom. She came to my school a couple weeks ago. She didn't stay long but my kids got to meet her and she got to meet all the babies I talk about. That hasn't EVER happened before. Because I am their "mama away from their mama" she became their Grammy and that's what they called her! That means something.

Because of this move, I get to have Mother/Daughter dates. Yesterday, my mom and I went to Mistletoe Marketplace with my friend Kristi and her mom. We walked around and shopped with about a million other people. We had lunch and talked. For the last eight years I have been a third wheel on Mother/Daughter dates. I am not complaining. I have several other mothers now because of it and they all took very good care of me. But nothing compares to your own mama! That means something.

So things are becoming clearer. I am starting to make friends. No, they aren't my Asheville friends, but we have fun and we laugh. And I know God will build those friendships. God blessed me pretty quickly with a friend at school because God knows what I need way better than I do. I probably would not have made it without Kristi! He knows what we need when we need it! That means something!

I am sure there are other reasons I am here. I am sure many of those reasons won't be revealed to me for a while. For now, I will just cling to the ones I know and hope God uses me here!